Faith Like a Child

I wasn't so sure about bringing a sleeping infant into the library so her big sister could play. Just as I expected, the baby awoke shortly after we arrived. As I was watching her older sister play with some new friends, a curious child approached me; she wanted to get a closer look at the baby. She introduced herself to me and from that point on, Maryn was my new best friend. Maryn asked me all kinds of questions about the baby and was entranced by her. Of course, a whole round of questions were asked regarding whether I was the child's mother followed by why I didn't have my own kids. Being a nanny has gotten me quite used to people assuming that I am a mother. It always makes me laugh because even though I am old enough to have my own kids, I always think to myself, "I am too young to have kids!"

Maryn brought an abrupt change to our conversation by informing me that she and her family were moving to Macedonia in just a few days. I asked her why they were moving and this is where the conversation got interesting. Her reply: "We are moving to tell others about Jesus." I was about to tell her how amazing I thought that was when she took hold of the entire conversation. Maryn, a 6 year old girl, sat down with me in a public library and shared the Gospel with me. My heart was warmed by the genuine words flowing out of this child. Her concern for the lost nearly brought me to tears. She expressed that she HAS to go to Macedonia because some people have not heard about Jesus yet; Maryn senses an urgency. She understood what will happen to those who never know Jesus and wasted no time letting me know that. Maryn may never know this, but what I saw in her yesterday sparked a passion in me.

I was able to have a short conversation with Maryn's parents as they prepared to exit the library. I quickly shared with them what their daughter had shared with me and how much it meant to me that she was bold enough to start that conversation with me. This was followed up by a short discussion regarding how effective children are at ministering because they say what is on their heart and many times adults will listen to a child whereas they will disregard an adult saying the very same things. 

As the family began to leave, Maryn ran back to me and gave me a hug. She then asked if I would pray for her. I was humbled and encouraged by this experience. Please join me in praying for Maryn and her family as they prepare to spend at least four years in Macedonia making disciples.

"The Lord protects those of childlike faith" Psalm 116:6

A Close Call

As I was driving to church this past Sunday I did not have much on my mind. I was driving, simple as that. About ten minutes into my commute I found myself having very much on my mind. The vehicle in the lane next to me decided they were going to switch lanes. No blinker, just a car that was going to drive right into me. In that split second I had to react. I hit my brakes and veered onto the shoulder. Unfortunately, the shoulder was snowy and I was pulled into it. I then hit the guard rail and spun back around into the road. As I pulled over to inspect the damage to my car, I was greeted by two other cars who pulled over after seeing this happen. They volunteered to be my witnesses for the police, that which I am thankful for.

A few thoughts keep returning to me after the accident: How did I maneuver my car away from hitting the guard rail a second time? How come the accident went by in slow motion as I experienced it? I know that I am lucky. The expressway is a busy road and there should have been more traffic behind me. I could have been involved in a head on crash. I felt protected. I did not feel the need to panic. It was as if I wasn't driving anymore, someone else was. It's possible that my brain has blocked part of the memory because it was scary, but I don't think that happened. The protection that I felt was from God. I had never been in an accident before. I had every reason to be beyond freaked out. I had every reason to panic, but I didn't. It was as if I knew before it was over that everything was going to be okay. I ended up driving my car home directly afterwards. I was going 75mph, there is no way that I should have been able to do this. God was there. He was protecting me. He was getting the car under control. I was given a feeling of peace.

Psalm 116:5-7
The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.

The Curiosity of a Child

Tonight youth group met as it usually does. I help lead 5th and 6th grade youth group as I have for the past three years. The lesson was going well and they were doing a great job participating. One student asked a question and that started a string of questions that they had. We then decided to have a night in a few weeks where they can email or call us with questions that they want answered and we'll spend the lesson time discussing them. Some of the questions they were asking tonight were:
1. If we know somebody who is a really nice person but they don't believe in Jesus, do they just not go to either Heaven or Hell? Does their spirit die with their body?
2. What happens when a really young child or a baby dies? Does God send babies to Hell?
3. Do people who believe in other religions go to Heaven too? They worship a god, does that count for something?
These are the main questions that came up tonight. These kids are 10 and 11 years old. Our lesson topic wasn't related to these questions. These are questions that these kids have thought about before. Now, I am trying to remember what I was like in 5th grade. I don't think I was asking those kinds of questions. As a younger child I was much more vocal about my curiosity as they were tonight. I am proud of them for asking those questions. Their questions are important. They are heavy topics in the church. I wish that we all held onto this curiosity as they still do. I often find that I don't ask questions. Sometimes I don't actually have questions, but if I thought more about something I probably would generate some sort of question. I also find that sometimes when I have questions I don't ask them. We can learn a lot from them. We should be asking questions--in our head, to others and to God.

Learning to Forgive Ourselves

I came to a realization the other day about myself. I can't stand to be completely alone. By that I don't necessarily mean people. I mean, it felt uncomfortable for me to eat breakfast without music playing. It didn't matter if I was really listening or it was just white noise, I just needed it there. I was cleaning the house last week and I had to have music playing then. I am always texting or on facebook. I don't like silence. As I was having breakfast the other morning, I prayed and began to eat my cereal. It was then that something hit me. I was filling my life with these things as a way to avoid God. I used to pray a lot more. And life lately has been a little bit crazy, which really means that I should be praying more. But instead I am scared to have alone time with God. Why is that?

I don't think that I'm alone in this. Why are we so scared to be vulnerable to God? He knows our every thought, every word and action. We can't hide anything from Him. He created us for a relationship with us, yet we continually choose other things above him. My reason for avoiding him is a fear. I know that I have made a lot of mistakes. And I know that he knows this. When I tell others about Christ, I tell them that they can be set free from their sins. Through faith in Christ's sacrifice on the cross, we are no longer seen as sinners because of Christ's imputed righteousness. This is what I tell people, but I still live as if I am not freed from sin. It is something that I know is true. If I didn't whole heartedly believe it, I would not tell others that it is true.

And this is my challenge: to embrace the forgiveness that comes from Christ. Though it is important to have a repentant heart and want to change, I don't think it is healthy or what God wants for us to be filled with guilt for so long because of our sin. What are we accomplishing for God's kingdom by doing that?

"The law was brought so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more." Romans 5:20

Radical Inclusiveness

As I read Bill Hybel's book, Just Walk Across the Room, I found many concepts and ideas relevant and useful. The one thing that stuck out the most was what he called radical inclusiveness, seeing others as Jesus sees them. What if we lived thinking that even the "worst" people that we know have the potential to become followers of Christ??? It sounds so simple yet can be so difficult. Our attitude toward nonbelievers can be so negative sometimes. We write some people off completely thinking that they will never come to Christ and that it is a waste of our time. That isn't how it shoul be though. We need to learn to love these people and even when we think our efforts aren't worth it, keep on going. This was part of Hybel's living in 3-D concept.
1. Develop Friendships
2. Discover Stories
3. Discern Next Steps
Radical inclusiveness was discussed in the develop friendships section. This forced me to examine myself. Do I really look at all people as having the potential to be redeemed? I don't think that I always do. The love that we receive from Christ needs to be overflowing into our relationships with others, believers and nonbelievers alike. I used to struggle with this. I felt as though I was being judged by some nonbelievers because I was a believer and never bothered to even find out if they were like that or not. This was not loving towards them and I'm sure that I wasn't showing them Christ's love. Maybe my behavior turned them off to Christianity at times because I wasn't being loving. The point is not to look back and say what if I had done this though. The point is that we all need to make an effort to develop friendships and love nonbelievers right now. We are learning day by day how to be better disciples of Christ and I really think that this is an excellent way. I've experienced it with some people. It isn't necessary or even always a good thing to converse with nonbelievers about God all the time. First develop a relationship with them. Don't make them feel as though you are judging them. Ask them about their life and their interests. We aren't in this just to add another tally to the board of people who "we" have brought to Christ. If that was the point, we would all be failing. We can show them love by being their friend. Then wait for the Holy Spirit to guide us into a conversation about the Gospel. When you feel that tug, then go for it. The more I think about radical inclusiveness, the more I wish I had read this book earlier.

Not a Typical Day for Me

This week I chose to focus on the spiritual discipline of community. Loving one another, serving one another, praying for one another and forgiving one another were some of the things that I was to work on. A few weeks ago, a small group of friends and myself had committed to praying for one another. That was a good place for me to start. I had already been working on that and saw that since a few weeks ago when we had made that commitment to each other I had been praying for others more. Keeping that as a habit is something that I intend to do and hope that they and God keep me accountable for. Loving one another is a struggle for me. There are people who are easy to love. There are relationships that I enjoy investing time into. But there are people who are very difficult for me to love. It isn't always easy to show them Christ's love when they may be difficult to relate to, not very kind or some other excuse that I give myself to get out of showing them love. But that isn't the point at all. Those are the people that I need to show love most. I can be very selective in my relationships. Sometimes it never crosses my mind that I am leaving someone out, ignoring someone or completely blowing someone off. I act as if they do not deserve my time. After some of the things that I have done, I can see that I do not deserve their time! Part of loving one another for me has been opening myself to others.

I also learned about community from the other end of things this week. I experienced grace and forgiveness from a complete stranger. Monday morning I was running a little late for my 7:30am class. I made it out to the car, started it up and then realized that I had left something else inside that I needed for the day. So I bolted out of the car, frantically unlocked the door and sprinted back and went on my way. I was going with the flow of traffic when I looked back and see those dreaded lights. How did the cop choose me? I was going the same speed as the cars surrounding me. I stopped the car and waited for the coming doom. I handed over my license and registration as he told me that I had been speeding. My response wasn't much. I simply said that yes I realize that I was speeding, I am running late for my exam and wasn't paying attention, which isn't an excuse and I take full responsibility. He returned to his car, and came back with a ticket for me. It wasn't a good start to my day. Later that day I looked up how much this was going to cost me, $130 bucks! After my last class I headed straight to the court house to pay my ticket. I figured that I should pay it now or I would forget after I went home for Thanksgiving weekend. The clerk then informed me that I wouldn't be able to pay my ticket for a few days because the tickets are not in the system yet on the day that they are given out. I was a little bit annoyed. I was doing the responsible thing by going to pay my ticket and they wouldn't let me pay it! That meant I would have to go back on another day and I had just wasted a half hour. Later on that day my phone started ringing and the number was unfamiliar. I hesitated to answer it, but I did anyways. I was alarmed when he introduced himself as the police officer who had pulled me over that morning. I wasn't sure what he was going to say and honestly a bit scared. What did he want now? Turns out he had been trying to reach me the entire day. He had been calling my parents' house (our answering machine is on the fritz) since that morning and hadn't gotten through until about 4 pm. My sister then gave him a number that he could reach me at. He was calling to tell me that he voided my ticket. His reasoning was that he saw that I was very close to Cornerstone when he pulled me over and assumed that I was a student there. He then said that he knew I was feeling pressure for exams and paying for college and did not want to burden me with a speeding ticket, especially because I had a completely clean driving record. I thanked him multiple times, still not entirely believing what had just happened. He said that he wanted to do the Christian thing and show me some grace. He then said he hopes that I have a blessed Thanksgiving and ended our conversation. I was stunned. He didn't fit my typical stereotype of a cop. The fact that he had called my house multiple times throughout the day to let me know what he had done for me really blew me away. This person doesn't know me. He didn't have to do that. He has written plenty of speeding tickets over the years and not voided them. As well as this, he had left his number with my sister in case my parents wanted to call him. Naturally, my mother called him and he basically said the same thing to her. He served as a witness to my unsaved father yesterday by showing me grace, reasoning that it was out of Christian love. I also found a message in my email from the Cornerstone front desk saying that the officer had stopped in and left his phone number and requested that I call him. He had even come back to the school to tell me what he had done.

I've been thinking about this since it happened and I can't quite get past it. I was shown grace by a complete stranger and now still have the $130 in my bank account. But even better than that I was reminded of the grace that God has blessed me with. He shows me grace even though I sin and hurt him. His grace means much more than not paying a speeding ticket. His grace is so unmerited and wonderful, yet it took something like this to bring it to my attention. I'm left without words now, and that is okay. My gratitude for the voiding of a speeding ticket has turned my ear and heart to the voiding of eternity in hell. Instead I get to have a relationship with the one and only God while I am here on earth and for the rest of eternity.

Revival Starts with the Individual

"O Lord, revive thy work" -- Habakkuk 3:2

Charles Spurgeon focuses on this one sentence from Scripture in his devotional, and that is all that he needs to get me thinking. For those in the Church seeking revival, they must first look to themselves. Too often we criticize the church, the pastor, etc instead of looking inside ourselves. What are we doing to encourage revival? One by one, becoming unified in the practice of revival, the Church does amazing things through God.

Spurgeon discusses the prevalence of joining the Church because it is popular. Though this wasn't written in the present day, I believe this pertains to Christians today.
"Many people have recently joined the Church in our country. But are there any fewer cheats than there used to be? Are there less frauds committed? Do we find morality more extensive? Do we find vice coming to an end? No, we do not. Our age is as immoral as any that preceded it. There is still as much sin, though perhaps it is more cloaked and hidden."
I resonated very much with this statement. We hide our sin, sometimes letting ourselves believe that somehow makes it better. Why aren't we real with each other? Hiding our sin won't help us get through the problem of sin. I have certain relationships where I can be completely honest with someone, and I've seen the benefits of that. As well as that aspect, why can't we be real with God? He knows everything already. Hiding anything at all from him doesn't work. I feel as though the Church would grow so much more if we were real with each other and God.

Spurgeon also says that another proof that the Church is in need of revival is the absence of sound doctrine. I've had a recent experience that relates very well to this. My home church wasn't doing well. I can see now that it was in large part because of the lack of sound doctrine. We spent two years searching and praying for the right person to lead our church, having a temporary pastor in the meantime. It was only a few weeks ago that we felt God had given us the right person. He accepted the call to lead us. It was such a learning experience for me. This started happening when I was in high school, and I didn't really understand what was going on. Now looking at the situation I understand a little better. I can feel excitement in the church--not just because of a new pastor, but because of a new page for us all. We had a dry spell for a time. People were leaving ministry positions and volunteers weren't as readily available. I'm not by any means saying that the church I attend is experiencing a big revival, but things are slowly changing. I personally see revival as something that almost needs to be gradual. It gives all time to adjust and be unified in God. And it all goes back to the individual. Person by person, congregation by congregation, revival can happen and spread.

Another important point by Spurgeon is that we aren't praying for a revival of ourselves, but a revival of the Lord's work. We can't revive ourselves. God can use us to revive his work if we only ask for opportunities and listen to him when he answers.

"It is not a new person or a new plan, but the life of God in them that the Church needs."