A Childlike Faith

I'll start off by saying that while I enjoy sharing my testimony, it is usually done in person! Nevertheless, here is my story...

I was always the child who took whatever I was told at face value. That can be seen as a good thing and a bad thing. I didn't doubt what people were telling me, which was a blessing when it came to believing when I was told about Christ at a young age. It also meant that I was (and sometimes still am) quite gullible at times. I remember the moment when I officially "asked Jesus into my heart", though I do think that I believed before that moment came. I was 5 or 6 years old and attended the children's program at my church, which my aunt and uncle helped lead. They told what Christ did for me, for us all, and I then realized that I wanted Jesus in my life. I prayed with them, which is very special to me. They have been and still are mentors to me.

Though I became a Christian at a young age, my life was not full of growth for quite some time. I always went to church with my mom, but I wasn't serious about my faith until about 8th grade. I got more involved with the youth group and had amazing leaders who really challenged me. It was about that time when I realized that I wasn't where I should be. I decided that I needed to change who my friends were. Looking back I realize I didn't do this correctly. I basically just stopped contact with them one day, without telling any of them why. I began to hang out with my cousin, who is still my best friend, but my old friends never knew why I suddenly ditched them.

It was in high school that I really felt the Holy Spirit revealing new things to me. I feel very lucky to have the solid Christian friends that I still have today, who were helping form me along the way. My youth leaders continued to challenge me throughout high school, and I still have contact with them today, where they continue to do so. However, it was on one high school trip that I discovered something that has been a stumbling block for me ever since. Though I had known it all along, I hadn't admitted it to myself... My dad isn't a Christian. When I finally let myself believe it, I was crushed. I spent a lot of time angry with God. I spent a lot of time making it my mission to save my dad, which of course I cannot do on my own. I've repeatedly been broken down and humbled by this struggle. I also had and still have resentment toward my dad for some of the things that happened during my childhood. That later turned into resentment toward my mom for marrying him. She was a Christian before they met and I feel that she really sold herself short. But, I cannot change the past and I've really learned a lot from growing up how I did.

I've been able to relate and minister to so many different kinds of people because of having one parent non-Christian, and the other a Christian. It has been a blessing in disguise. There's much more that I could say because a testimony is a lifelong journey! But instead, I shall leave you with this: I could not have made it through many parts of my life without Christ as my stronghold, as my foundation. It is a slow and gradual process, but I am learning to depend on Christ more and more each day.